James
by kira66
Summary: Something happened in fifth year to make James withdraw from everything around him. This is the story of his journey to try and reclaim himself.
1. Chapter 1

At this very moment James was sitting under one of the large tree's down by the lake. He was alone since he no longer had any friends. James used to be a outgoing, adventurous boy but that all changed at the end of fifth year. The same year that the famous marauders had split up.

It was also the same year that he lost Lily to the Slytherins. He didn't even see it coming. He thought everything was going great until Lily cornered him in Gryffindor tower one night and told him that it was over. She ended their relationship of a year. James was heart broken and began to withdraw into himself.

Now here he was in the final month of his sixth year watching Lily and Severus walk hand in hand around the Hogwarts grounds. He couldn't help the anger that swelled up in his chest. He hated the Slytherins, now more than ever. They took away the only things that he really cared about and in doing so they took away a part of him.

James grades suffered after the break-up. He went from being top student to the lowest. He didn't care anymore. Everywhere he looked his eyes were assaulted love and friendship. Things that he would never experience again.

He wouldn't be coming back to Hogwarts for his final year. He had already talked it over with his parents and they agreed to send him to Durmstrang where he would finish out his last year of his magical education. He was leaving today, that is why he was currently avoiding Hogwarts.

With a deep breath he stood and brushed off his Durmstrang uniform which consisted of a thick brown wool jumper, matching trousers and heavy dragon hide boots. His heavy fur coat and wool hat were at home. He felt a pang in his heart as he headed back to the large castle. This would be the last time that he would be here. His stomach dropped out as he reached the great hall doors. Dumbledore was going to announce his leaving. He wanted to give the student population a reason to why one of their own would no longer be seen in class or in the Gryffindor dormitories. James gathered his thoughts and raised his head in the air as he pushed the large, oaken doors open. He stepped inside and made his way to the head table, not looking at anyone. He could hear those who caught sight of his strange outfit, and cropped hair, begin to whisper but he didn't care. He set his eyes with a cold glare as he stopped in front of the table where Dumbledore was now seated.

Dumbledore smiled at the boy and his eyes twinkled. He knew of the troubles that James faced and was more than happy to put in a good word for him with Igor Karkaroff who is the headmaster at Durmstrang. Albus didn't wish to see the boy go but this was better for him. Maybe now he could start over and forget all his troubles. He waited until McGonagall got the students attention by tapping a fork on her glass goblet before he rose. "May I have your attention please. The end of the year dance has been scheduled for two weeks from today. It is only open to the third years and higher." The glimmer in his eyes seem to dim. "Now for a more serious note. One of our own has asked to be transferred to Durmstrang and I have graciously agreed. Today is his last day and I just want him to know that he will be deeply missed." He steps around the head table and stops beside James. He places a hand on the young mans shoulder. "I'm sure all of you have noticed young Mr. Potters strange attire and new hair style so without further ado, may I present to you the newest student of Durmstrang Academy, James Potter." His voice echos through the silent Great Hall.


	2. Chapter 2

The silence was short lived. Angry murmurs and whispers can be heard, most of which were coming from the Gryffindor table. The only ones not saying anything was Sirius, Remus, Peter and Lily. They were sitting in shock with their mouths hanging open. Lily looked ready to cry and the boys looked fit to be tied.

James nods to the headmaster. He knew that it was expected of him to do a speech so he wouldn't disappoint them. He clears his throat and waits for the Great Hall to fall silent. "This was not an easy decision for me to make." He eyes each table with a blank stare. All except the Slytherins which his stare turns deadly. "I know everyone will either be glad that I am leaving or not care at all. I have no friends and I am a lazy student or so I have been tol. I just hope my time at Durmstrang will straighten me out and set me on the right path." His voice is monotone. "I say that the decision wasn't easy for the simple fact that this has been my home for six years. But now it is time for me to move on." He turns around and faces the head table. "I thank you all for putting up with me over the years. I tried to do my best but it wasn't enough. Your all very good teachers but I was the one that couldn't be helped." He forces a smile before turning back to his peers. He takes a deep breath and lets it out. "As for the student body...you made my life a living hell. Instead of my so called friends sticking by my side, they abandoned me. And yet I stood by their sides through everything. I was there when Sirius's family disowned him. I was there when Peter's sister was ill. And I was there for Remus through his illness. Maybe I was stupid to stick around people who clearly were using me. But I don't regret it. I can't regret it. The only thing I regret is the fact that I lost the only things I loved." He falls silent and lets his words sink in. He raises his chin in the air. His eyes were glazed over with anger. And it was taking all his will power not to lash out at those around him. He just hoped his words would make them feel guilty.

Dumbledore is silent throughout James's speech. He lets the boy vent his anger without stopping him. He pats him on the shoulder. "You will be missed Mr. Potter. I just wished that things could have been different." He looks out across the sea of students then his eyes fall to the large oaken doors in the back. He can see James's parents standing, waiting for their son. He smiles at Robert and Katherine. "It is now time to say goodbye James. Your parents are waiting."

James licks his dry lips and nods. "I would say goodbye but that means it's forever. I need a word that means longer than forever. I do not intend to see any of you again if that can be helped." He again turns towards the head table and scans the teachers before turning and striding towards his parents. He keeps his eyes focused solely on the back of the room. But he can feel the angry glares that he is receiving. This actually brings a small smile to his face. His words did hit them. He stops in front of his parents.

Their eyes are shining brightly with pride. "We're very proud of you, James." Katherine says as she touches her son's face.

His father smiles at his son and pats him on the back them leads his family out of the great hall and to the awaiting horseless carriages outside.

James didn't even look back as he pulled himself up into the carriage. His trunk had already been brought down by one of the house elves. He felt his insides twist as they began to move away from the very old stone castle. Something didn't feel right but he didn't bother to say anything. Why should he? No one in the castle would have done that for him. Not a soul.


	3. Chapter 3

Durmstrang was the complete opposite of Hogwarts. Whereas Hogwarts produced Aurors, Durmstrang produced most of the death eaters that were hunted. Igor Karkaroff was a known, albeit ex, death eater himself and yet he was the headmaster of the school. He was hesitant in letting James Potter join his school for the simple fact that Albus Dumbledore knew of it's record with the dark arts. Why would the old man let one of his own leave only to be sent into darkness? But after careful review of Potter's case he found out that the boy was a perfect candidate. So he gladly granted him admission.

James fit in automatically at Durmstrang. His anger was not frowned upon. In fact, it was encouraged. His new Professors encouraged him to lash out at his former school. They told him that it would be good for his soul if he got all the anger out. So he did. He also felt a new found hate for his former friends. His views drastically changed and he began to regret ever attending a poor school such as Hogwarts. He even made friends right off the bat.

The students were not sorted into houses and there was no century long rivalries going on. The students were sorted by how much magical skill they had. The lower your magical skill level, the more classes you had to take. And the higher your level, the less classes you had to take. But this could change. The lower students could get better if they applied themselves and the higher students could get worse if they grew lazy.

James was tested and placed in the highest category there was. He was found out to posses a unique amount of magical skill. He also had a thirst for knowledge. The Professors couldn't figure out why his marks at Hogwarts were so low when the boy was now the top student in the school. And the lessons were not as easy as the ones at Hogwarts. But they knew that his anger was apart of it so they left him be.

The classes were also slightly different. Charms was the same except the teacher was a tall, thin women with a pretty face and a likeable personality. Potions was slightly different. They had to learn all the Latin names for their ingredients and had to search for most of them in a nearby forest. Their potions, if received top marks, would be sold at the nearby village and the student would receive the profit. Transfiguration was more interesting Instead of learning how to turn a animal into a goblet, they learned how to use Transfiguration to protect themselves. Now the most different of all classes was Defense Against the Dark Arts. There wasn't much defense being taught compared to the dark arts. They learned the proper way of saying and producing all of the unforgivable curses. They practiced this on rodents that were caught by the groundskeeper, Tomack the Grizzly. None of the students got into trouble for using the curses since Durmstrang had special permission from the International Wizarding Council to teach the students about the dark arts. There was no History of Magic, Care of Magical Creatures or Divination. Instead History of the Dark Arts and Arithmancy was offered. The students only attended their classes in the mornings. Afternoons were spent either on studying or Quidditch.

The months flew by for James. He excelled in everything but his favorite subject was Defense Against the Dark Arts. He had always been good at it. Professor Morell even had him helping with the lessons and tutoring the lower skilled students. He was actually beginning to feel alive once again. His two best friends were Hugo Krum and Tobias Flint, they were in his skill level. They soon became known as The Sneaks since they were always sneaking out of their dorms to practice Quidditch or to raid the kitchens. They even pranked a few people but not many. Most of their time was spent studying, practicing Quidditch, or tutoring whoever they were asked to.

All three had girlfriends, which is surprising since James had made a silent pact to himself never to love anyone again. Hugo was dating a large, stout girl with midnight black hair and grey eyes, Torra Caman was her name. Tobias was dating a small, petite girl with golden blonde hair and light blue eyes, Serenity Bagman was her name. And finally James was dating a curvy girl with mouse brown hair and brown eyes to match. She was a quiet girl who enjoyed being around her boyfriend and his friends. Her name was Morgana Grimm. All three girls, and there wasn't many, were in the same skill level as the boys.


	4. Chapter 4

There was exactly three months of school left when James's life was thrown upside down. He was minding his own business, studying in the library when Tobias came rushing in making all kind of hand gestures. James looked up from the book he was reading. "What is it Toby?" Only Tobias's friends were allowed to call him Toby. If anyone else tried they would be spending a week in the infirmary.

Toby leaned against the table and took several deep breaths. "The Minister of Magic just announced that there is going to be a quidditch cup between the schools. He said that he wanted the students of other schools to get to know each other. And guess who we are paired with, Jamie?" He lays the newspaper that he was holding onto the table, in front of James.

James blinks and picks the paper up. He reads the headline story and his eyes widen. "We are paired with Hogwarts. How can we be paired with that...that...that disgrace for a school?" He looked horrified. He lays the newspaper, The Riser, back to the table.

Toby shakes his head. "I don't know. But this is your chance, Jamie. You can finally show those worthless excuses for wizards what you have become." He was grinning from ear to ear.

"But I said that I would never see them again if I could help it." James's brow furrows as he runs a hand through his messy black hair, it was getting too long and would soon need to be cut to the regulation length. A skull earing dangled out of his left ear. The other two members of The Sneaks also had matching earrings. They were a gift from Professor Morell at Christmas.

"But you can't help it, Jamie. Your our captain so that means you don't have a choice." Toby states.

James nods and shuts the book that he was studying from. He didn't have to worry about being loud since the librarian was also one of the biggest quidditch fans around. So that meant that she was very loud herself. "Your right, Toby. I can't hide from them forever. I need to rub it in their faces that they did not break me." He stands, his chair scrapping the dusty old floor. "How long do we have before the cup?"

"The paper says two weeks then we are going to be flooed over to Hogwarts. So we have two weeks to get our act together and practice." Toby says. It wondered why they weren't talking the ship but dismissed it from his mind.

James nods and strokes his stubbled chin. He was trying to grow a beard but it wasn't working. "Go find Hugo and tell him to spread the word that there is going to practice every afternoon for the next two weeks." He grabs the book off the table and shoves it into his dragon hide bag. He then puts the strap of the bag over his head and snaps it shut. "I need to speak with Headmaster Karkaroff."

"Ok, Jamie." Toby takes off out of the library in search for his other friend. A grin playing on his lips.

He strides out of the library and towards the headmasters office. It was behind a large red oak door that had the mans last name etched in gold across the middle. He stops in front and knocks. He enters when he hears the headmaster call _Enter_. "Sir, may I speak to you?" He hurries over to one of the arm chairs sitting in front of the large desk. He sits down and looks around. This office was nothing like Dumbledore's. There wasn't hundreds of moving pictures on the wall or gadgets sitting around on tables. This office had one large picture hanging over a stone fireplace. It was of Durmstrang. And there was only a vase with black lily's sitting on a small table in the corner. The floor was hardwood as was the paneling on the walls.

Headmaster Karkaroff matched his office. He was tall and thin with jet black hair, slicked back on his head. He had a neatly trimmed beard to match and wore an outfit that matched the students'. James thought that this was what Severus Snape was going to look like when he got older. "Ah James. What a pleasure for you to visit me. What do you need to speak to me about?" He never smiled, all he did was smirk.

"Is it true about the quidditch cup between schools?" James prayed that the headmaster said that it was all a hoax.

The smirk fades from Karkaroff's face. He sets his lips into a tight straight line. "Yes. I am afraid so. The Minister seems to think that the students from each of the schools deserve the right to mingle with others their own age. If you ask me, it's hogwash." He folds his hands on his desk. "If you don't wish to attend..." He trails off and eyes the black haired boy.

James shakes his head. "No sir. I will attend. This is our big chance to show them up. To show them that we are the better school." He says a little bit arrogant.

Karkaroff smirks. "That's my boy. I will assume that you have already informed the team of this little situation?"

"Yes, sir. I have Toby looking for Hugo. He will inform the team of our practice every afternoon until the day we leave. Is that acceptable?" James asks.

"Yes, of course it is. Your one of the best quidditch players that we've had in a long time, James. Just remember that." He unfolds his hands and begins to dig through several papers on his desk.

James stands and makes his way out of the office. His stomach was in knots. But he would handle it. This was his big break. His chance to show them what they lost. He heads in the direction of his level's dorms. He pulls open the door and steps inside. He smiles at the people who were lounging around on the floor and the couches. "Has anyone seen Morgana today?" He receives several answers of no. "Ok." He hums to himself as he walks to his room door and pushes it open. The inside of the room was done in a deep earthly brown. The bed had brown wool sheets on them and in the middle was a very skimpy dressed Morgana. James drops his bag and stares, wide eyed. "Wh...What are you doing?" He shuts the door behind him and adjusts his silver rimmed glasses.

Morgana smiles, seductively and motions James over. "Jamie. We've been going out for seven months and I thought that I would give you a very special gift."

James licks his dry lips and feels his face begin to flush. "Morgana. There is no need for you to give me this. I can wait. I told you that. I care for you very much and I am willing to wait until your ready." He gives her a smile.

Morgana begins to sniffle then bursts into tears. "Your too good to me, Jamie. The others say that if I don't give you this you will leave me for someone who can."

James sits down on the bed and pulls her into a hug. He kisses her hair. He did care for her but his heart still belonged to Lily. "I am not going to leave you. Don't listen to those silly rumors. I am not like that."

Morgana nods and clings to him. "I should get back to my room then. I have to study for Professor Morell's test." She gives him a kiss on the cheek before grabbing her robe, the girls were allowed to wear robes when they weren't in class or participating in a school activity, and putting it on. "See you tomorrow, love." With that she exits the room and heads off to her room.

James lays down on his back and stares at the ceiling. He hated leading Morgana on. He was so confused. He loved Lily and couldn't let her go but maybe he needed to move on with Morgana. He was really considering marriage and would have asked if this stupid quidditch cup hadn't came up. Maybe he still had a chance with Lily. He rolls over faces the wall. His eyes shut and he drifts off into a sound sleep, with emerald green eyes dancing in his dreams.


	5. Chapter 5

The next two weeks were spent practicing quidditch. They would practice until they couldn't feel their arms or legs anymore. But none of them ever grumbled about it. They were all excited about the prospect of beating Hogwarts, them all knowing about their captains horrible experience there. Finally the day came and all were ready. All except James.

"Stop your pacing, Jamie. Your going to wear a hole in the bloody floor." Tobias Flint yelled at his friend.

Hugo sat, smirking, on one of the large black leather chairs that sat around their level's dorm. "You should listen to him, Jamie boy. Your making me dizzy in the head." He raises one of his large hands and taps his temple to prove the point. He didn't have much of a accent anymore. Not since he began to hang around with Toby and James.

James halts his pacing and frowns. "How can you guys be so calm while I'm a mess?"

Toby throws one of the leather pillows at Hugo. "Shut your bloody mouth, Krum. Can't you see that our Jamie is nervous about going back to his old school. Maybe he is to embarrassed to show off his new friends and skills, aye?"

"I am not embarrassed of you guys. You're my best mates and I certainly am not embarrassed about showing off my new skills." James sits and places his head in his hands.

"You need to relax, Jamie boy. Nothing bad is going to happen. You have us around to protect you. But you gotta remember, you're a Durmstrang boy now. Nothing scares us, remember?" Hugo says, trying to get James pumped up about going.

James nods. "Your right. I have nothing to be nervous about. Nothing. We are going to beat them then go on with our lives." He stands up and faces the room. His whole team was there, waiting for their floo time to come around. They only had about another twenty minutes to wait. "Listen up team. Don't let any of their people intimate you because your ten times better than them. Not only are we the best quidditch team around , we are also the best at anything around. We study and yet our team is skilled, we play and yet our grades are top notch. Let's hear it for the Durmstrang Warlocks!" He smiles when his whole team begins to cheer. He then sits back down. "That felt good."

Toby chuckles and reaches over, slapping his leg. "Well done, mate. That was bloody brilliant." He wipes a fake tear from the corner of his eye. "I'm glad your feeling better, Jamie. The Durmstrang Warlocks will kick some Hogwarts arse." He raises his fist in the air and pumps it up and down.

James nods then glances at the magical clock on the wall. The hands were nearing the quidditch team leaving mark. He stands and picks up his Clean Sweep, the newest model of racing broom available on the market. It was brand new. Everyone on the team had new brooms, thanks to Robert Potter. He gave Durmstrang a lot of things. Just as he stands the door is throw open. He turns his head to see who was disturbing them. He smiles seeing Professor Morell. "Hello Professor. What brings you here?"

Professor Morell was a tall, yet stout women with a beautiful face and wonderful smile. She wasn't any older than twenty-six and was a graduate of Durmstrang. She also had a easy going personality, that is why all the students loved her. "I just wanted to see my favorite students before they go off into battle." She was also melodramatic. Every one on the quidditch team was in her higher level class, which was her favorite class since she didn't have to spent a lot of time explaining things.

James chuckles. "We will do fine, Professor. We will win this for you." He heard a series of confirmations behind him.

The Professor nods before performing a good luck spell on all of the team members. It wasn't anything illegal so they wouldn't get into trouble for it. "Good luck and bring home the trophy." She exits the way she came, saying a quick _hello_ to the passing headmaster.

Headmaster Karkaroff smiles at the passing Professor before entering the high level's dorms. He stops and looks around at the quidditch team. "I must say that I am very proud of you all." His voice bounces off the walls since it was silent. "I want you to use every _mean_ possible to win this." He knows that they will get his drift. "As you all know Hogwarts has four houses with their own teams. It was talked over and it seems that you will be playing all four teams over the three month period of time that you are there. You will also be forced into participating in all the classes so you may graduate upon your arrival back to Durmstrang. Once you arrive Headmaster Dumbledore will have you sorted into one of the four houses. This will not affect the quidditch team. Now. I want you all to make me proud." He holds out a pouch with black powder in it. "Your things have already been sent ahead." He nods to each player as they take a hand full of powder and throw it into a already lite fire yelling out _"Hogwarts: Headmasters Office" _in the process.

James grabs a handful of powder and nods to the headmaster. He is the last one to go. "I will make you proud sir." He throws the powder into the fire and follows his fellow classmates, friends and team to Hogwarts.


End file.
